Overcoming Fear

One of my biggest fears was dark. I used to get goosebumps all over my arms when I turned off my room's light. At home, I used to run around the house to avoid dark places! I know it's embarrassing. At night I thought there was someone underneath my bed or in my closet staring at me. On several occasions, I woke up in the morning with my room lights on. I thought I turned it off but I didn't. When I was sleeping, one time, I heard water dripping from the tap or the shower from the bathroom. Then after a few minutes, I heard the water stop dripping. My whole body was relaxed the moment it stopped. But then, I heard something crash. It made a big unpleasant sound. The muscles in my body started to intensify. They were stiff and I almost heard my heart stop. I had sweat all over my forehead. I was afraid and scared to look in the direction of where the sound was coming from. I almost felt like peeing too. Then, after the crash, there was a moment of silence. My body started to relax again, but I was still unsure. I had to stay alert in case something happened again. After a few seconds, I heard something again. This time, I heard someone coming. I heard footsteps coming at my direction. I became stiff again. This time, I started to sweat more! Then I laid in a fetus position to protect myself. The sound of the footsteps started increasing. I wanted to sleep! Suddenly, I felt the light. It was my dad. He turned on the light to see what made that crashing sound. He found out that it was the shower curtain that made this sound. It fell. My dad looked at the curtain shaking his head. I was relieved. Then I felt my eyes close slowly.

Girl in Translation

Girl in Translation is a book written by Jean Kwok. The novel is about a girl named Kimberly Chang, who is a young immigrant from Hong Kong. She is an excellent student; she excels in math. However, as soon as she sets her feet in Brooklyn, her life becomes interesting. She begins to live two lives: (1) life as an excellent student and (2) life as a factory employee. During the day, she goes to school; at night, she helps her mom in the factory. Kimberly and her mom do not know how to speak English. She struggles to interact with other students in Brooklyn; however, she is a quick learner. She is constantly pressured because she feels that she is obligated to support the family. However, she overcomes this adversity by studying hard. She graduates from an exclusive boarding school and begins her college life in Yale. She also experiences unwanted pregnancy; however, she handles it pretty well. Her mom is always supportive of what she chooses to do. After she graduates from Yale, she becomes a doctor. She supports her mom and her family. I thought this story was interesting to read because I love reading stories about how people overcome their adversities. The author wants to express that many Chinese immigrants back in the late 1900s were pressured to succeed in America and support their family. Kimberly and her mom lived in extreme poverty. They had no heater, hot water, or money. They worked in a factory near China Town. They also received little money. However, Kimberly succeeds.   

Dream - Another World

I had this dream recently; I thought it would be interesting to share this with you guys. I remember this dream so vividly that it feels like as if I had actually experienced it. I don't remember everything but I'll write down the things I remember. I was separated from my mom and sister; I lived with my dad. One day, we were told from the government that anyone who finds any object that is related to Egypt, she or he would be killed immediately on the spot. People were going crazy after hearing this news; they were going out to the streets running wild. Some of them were protesting and many of them were in fear. Dad wanted me to go outside with him to see what was really going on. I think I wore a yellow t-shirt with blue jeans. When I went out, I saw all these people trying to run away from the polices. I was scared so I decided to hide with my dad. We went to a near public bathroom to avoid the frenzy. In the bathroom, I became bored so I decided to wash my hands. I pulled out a tissue to wipe my hands. All of a sudden, I realized something was weird. Next to the tissue box, I found a portrait of an Egyptian god. I touched it with curiosity. Then, about five or six polices materialized in front of my face. They surrounded me in no time. These polices were robots. They looked like humans but they weren't entirely human  beings. They grabbed me by the arms; I struggled to get out. Then, they did something to my body. There were lights flashing all around me; I was dead. I saw my dad being taken away from me and everything started to blur. I woke up as another being.

The picture at your left is the being I woke up as. My skin color was beige and slightly brown. I think I had green eyes and I was a male being. My eyeballs were slightly bulging out. The wrinkles around my eyes allowed me move my eyes freely. When I woke up as this being, I was wearing a military uniform and a long gun.  I was in the middle of a war. I think I was in a civil war. There was a friend next to me who was trying wake me up. He was also dressed as a soldier. He said we were being chased. Then I woke up by the sound of my mom's voice. I was in a magnificent place even though I was in war. There were weird looking trees around me but I couldn't see the sky because it was covered with fog and mist. My friend looked like me too.  This dream was amazing.

Looking at the sky

Sometimes I wish I could lie on the grass and stare at the sky for hours. When I was younger, my family and I used to live in a place surrounded by beautiful trees, mountains, bugs, flowers, and mud. There were parks and streams next to where I lived with my parents. My parents, my sister, and I would walk almost every day around the park and in between our neighbors. In some occasions, the streets in front of our house would fill with parades and festivals. Quite often, my family and my parents’ friends would go to a park to have a BBQ party. When we always reach the park, my sister and I would roll on the field and look at the blue sky turning slowly orange. My sister and I didn’t mind lying on the grass even though there were bugs crawling all over us. We would also bring our water guns and shoot water at our friends. When we were exhausted from playing, we would lie down on the grass again with our food next to us and we would start questioning ourselves. How does the earth look like from the clouds? Could we really sit on the clouds? Is the sky really blue and what makes it blue? How long will it take for us to reach the cloud? Looking up the sky makes your heart beat slowly. When you look up the sky, it feels like as it someone you know is looking at you. I wish I could lie on the grass and fall asleep and never wake up until the next morning.

1. Waiting (Poem) 2. Tent

1. Waiting

Waiting

Waiting is painful

It’s like looking at the full bright moon for hours

Waiting is unbearable

It’s like the eyes of the tiger piercing through my skin

Waiting is uncontrollable

It’s like letting go of your loved ones

Waiting is exhausting

It’s like swimming in the pool for nine hours

Waiting is realizing

It’s like asking you to be persistent and patient

I’ve waited enough

And I can’t have it anymore

I love writing poems because it is my way of expressing different emotions and feeling. However, I frequently write poems to express anger or feeling of uneasiness. I wrote a poem a few days ago because I was angry and hurt. I was angry a few days ago because things were not going my way. I've been longing for something for so many years and having to wait any longer just tortured me. There were other things that I was longing for, too. I was angry and sad; I wasn't able to concentrate on what I was doing. I didn't know what to do at first because I was so overwhelmed by anger. Writing a poem using similes and metaphors allowed me to express my feelings and thoughts precisely. When I wrote, "It's like looking at the full bright moon for hours," I really meant it. When you long for something for so long, you automatically stare at the moon at night thinking about that thing for hours. Sometimes, waiting felt like as if someone is piercing my skin with a needle. Waiting for something for too long can make you feel like your skin is falling apart.
Have you ever waited for something for so long? How does it feel? Does it make you angry and sad? Do you feel like giving up?

2. Tent

Three days ago, I felt a strong urge to explore the abandoned room that was located behind the kitchen. The abandoned room is filled with household items, bags, stuffed animals, and tents. I decided to take out the tent bags and assemble the parts to create a tent. I went over to the balcony and set the bags in order. When the tent was finally created, I went into the tent and observed the balcony and the living room through the tiny window of the tent. For the first time, I felt like a stranger in my house. Looking at my parents walk around the house in the tent felt like as if they were about to attack me. When my sister approached the tent, I quickly locked the entrance doors. Then I crouched down and hid myself in the corner of the tent with a blanket. I felt secure and safe. I never knew that a tent could make you feel safe and secure even in your protective house.

Dream - Cable Car

I've realized that the more you sleep, the more your dreams become vivid. About two weeks ago, I had a dream about cable cars. I was in a very big school and it had more than 3000 students per grade. In this school, high school started from grade 10 and ended in grade 14. I was in grade 11 and my best friend was in grade 13. She wasn't exactly my friend but she was the only person in the school who I could relate to. She thought like me and held similar beliefs to mine. I loved learning about space and she loved learning about extraterrestrials. We both shared many commonalities. The school was a boarding school, by the way. One day, the school teachers woke us up in the middle of the night. They told us to get dressed. As soon as I got dressed and put my tennis shoes on, I ran out of the dorm. There were more than 9000 students in the main hall and they were all waiting for the teachers to announce something. After hours of waiting, the teachers told the students that we are going to get trained harshly and anyone who disobeys the rules will be permanently expelled from the school. The sky turned orange as the sun peaked behind the mountains. We went up to the tallest mountain where the abandoned cable car station was. The cable car station turned into a training station where the students were required to wear harnesses and slide down cables. When we reached the peak of the mountain, I realized that each student from our grade started to tie his or her harness to the cable. I wasn't scared of sliding down the cable but what bothered me the most was the fact we were forced to do this training without any apparent reason. I didn't like the fact that they are not telling us why we were being trained rigorously all of a sudden. Soon, it was my turn to slide down the cable. I attached my harness to the cable and jumped off without thinking. I slid down the cable but then I was rapidly stopped in the middle. I dangled on the edge of the platform that led to the next station. Below the platform where I was dangling, was an open space. If you fall, you will die. I thought we had to slide down the down until we reached the bottom. My palms were getting extremely sweaty and I was desperate to climb up the platform. The harness pulled me down to the open space, however I persisted. After minutes of trying, I succeeded. Without thinking or questioning, I took off my harness and gave it to the person who was in the front of the line. Then, I went to the next training session. In the next training station, we were commanded to visit the founder of our school. He was a very old man; he was one of the founding fathers of our school. He was like a Yoda because he was almost 400 years old. I can't remember how old he was but he was very old. In the dream, he looked like an evil grandpa because of the wrinkles on his forehead caused by frowning. He had a bad temper. Provoking him was the lasting thing someone wanted to do. He is not alive anymore because someone I know made him angry and he died. Well, to be exact, someone provoked him first but I killed him by making him anger in the second time. I didn't see him die but I heard that he died when I ran away from the school. I saw him faint right in front of my eyes but I don't remember from there. The other group of students and I reached this place where the ladder was that led to his room. The ladder was huge, white, and round. It was cylindrical and metallic. I climbed up for 10 minutes and there he was. He frowned at us and started saying something. I didn't pay any attention to what he was saying. Instead, I looked around to see if I knew anyone from the crowd. A few steps ahead of me, I spotted my best friend. She was pretending to listen to him as well. I made some hand gestures and head movements to show her that I am right below her but when she looked at me, she didn’t react. She gave me these eyes that made me realize what she was thinking and what she was going to do in a few minutes. I knew that she was going to cause a trouble. As expected, I saw her slowly climbing up the ladder higher and higher. Suddenly, she made a rapid turn and jumped out the window breaking the glasses. The students were bewildered and the founder stared at the window motionlessly. His face became pale and the dark circles underneath his eyes became darker. I immediately wanted to follow her. Instead of following her, I decided to talk to her after school so I waited until the school finished. Even though many days had passed, she never appeared again. I was disappointed but I decided to do the same thing myself too. The day after tomorrow, when the class was heading to his room again, I quickly jumped out the new window that was replaced after my best friend jumped out of it. I ran quickly after I jumped out of the window. I was free.

Sleep and Sleep Paralysis

I love sleeping because I dream almost every time when I fall asleep. However, I remember only some of my dreams. Scientists say that dreams are forgotten within 5 minutes. I disagree with them because sometimes when I wake up, some of them remain very vividly in my mind. Even hours later, some dreams still remain vividly. In my opinion, if you try hard to remember your dream, different scenes from your dream often pop up. If you train yourself every morning, you will get better at it. The more you try to remember your dream every morning, the more your dreams will become vivid in your head. Sleeping can be exciting but encountering sleep paralysis is not exciting. Sleep paralysis is when you wake up but your body is still asleep. I experience sleep paralysis nearly every time I sleep and wake up. Many people describe sleep paralysis as something scary because it feels like someone is pressing you down from your chest. I personally believe that sleep paralysis is scary but I do not have nightmares. The scary part about sleep paralysis is that I can't breathe properly and wake up. My body wouldn't move even though I tell it to move. I try to move my fingers, head, and arms but they do not move at all! Sometimes I hear weird noises. Many people experience sleep paralysis with nightmare.

They claim that it feels like someone is watching watching you. In addition, Scientists claim that sleep paralysis naturally occurs during REM (rapid eye movement). They say that sleep paralysis prevents people from acting our their own dream. I wanted to share this with you guys because I thought people would be interested in this topic.